Be the Calmest Person in the Room

Earlier in my career, I completely misread one of the best leadership lessons I was being taught.

I was having a really bad moment. I was angry, frustrated and went to my boss looking for empathy.

More than that, I wanted them to match my intensity. I wanted someone to commiserate with me and acknowledge how frustrating the situation was.

They didn’t.

They stayed incredibly calm.

At the time, that frustrated me even more. It almost felt like they didn’t care as much as I did.

What they actually did was assess the situation, make a decision, execute and move forward.

Fast. Precise. Calm.

It took me years to fully appreciate what I was being taught.

Matching my emotion wouldn’t have made the situation better. A leader’s job isn’t always to add their emotion to the room.

Sometimes it’s to absorb everyone else’s, keep the team focused and move forward.

I’ve carried that lesson into my own leadership ever since.

Your team doesn’t always need you to match their emotion. Sometimes they need you to be the calmest person in the room.